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You are not alone

There are moths in your wardrobe

Silverfish in your sink

Woodlouse in your rafters

Bedbugs in your mattress

Spiders in your bathtub

Slugs on your skirting


Ants in your kitchen


Toads on your patio


Fleas in your carpet


Foxes in your bins


Mice in your cupboards

Moles in your lawn


Wasps at your window

Ticks on your ankles


Nits in your scalp

Mosquitos on your neck

Pigeons on your aerial

Worms in your intestines


Rot in your windowsill

Mould on your ceiling

Damp in your cellar


Dust on your books

Leaves in your gutter

Crumbs in your toaster

Limescale in your kettle

Skeletons in your closet

Asbestos in your shed

Malware on your laptop

Cookies in your cache

Racists in your family

Pollution in your pores

Floaters in your eyes

Popcorn in your lungs

Fungus on your toenails

Fortunes on your palm

Knots in your stomach

Stones in your boot

Drugs in your bloodstream

Eczema in your folds

Points on your licence

Food in your teeth

Fluid on your knuckles

Palm oil in your dinner

Stones in your kidneys

Ghosts in your DMs

Junk in your inbox


Siri on your iPhone

Scratches on your CDs

Names on your tick list

Gravy on your sweater

Trolls in your comments

Guilt on your conscience

Bailiffs on your doorstep

Bicarb in your cocaine

Lead in your water

Frost in your freezer

Heart on your wireless

Pollen in your nostrils

Nothing in your wallet

Hair in your plughole

Fluff in your belly button

Snot in your moustache

Cracks in your windscreen

Bognor in your sat nav

Blood in your faeces

Sewage in your river

Uppers in your bathroom

Downers in your briefcase

Weed in your sock

Rumbling in your belly

Tears on your pillow

Pain in your heart

Gaps in your hairline

Fluff in your charge port

Bots in your friends list

Lint in your pockets

Wolves at your door

Wax in your ears


Tar on your fingers

Death in your breath

Blood on your hands

Cramp in your muscles

Zits on your chin


Fat in your veins

Phlegm in your throat

Filth in your search history

Shade in your periphery

Murder on your mind

Holes in your story

Monkeys on your back

Crows in your trees

Bats in your attic

Spirits in your stairwell

Stitches in your ribs

Carbon in your footprint

Weakness in your handshake

Ghosts on your mantelpiece

Lovers in your memories

Bugs in your wine

And 12-headed leviathans in your dreams

You are not alone